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Blogs, Inspiration, Never Stop Learning, Static in the Airwaves, Tim L O'Brien, Writing Conferences
No matter how many times Father Menner pounded my chest with fists attached to Popeye sized forearms I never knew the answer. No matter how much hair he pulled from my head the answers never came. It didn’t matter how many times he kicked me in the shins with those hard, pointed Priest shoes, a correct answer was never muttered from my voice.
To this day, I hate Algebra. And to this day, I’ve never had to use it.
Or Calculus.
But I don’t hate Father John Menner, may he rest in peace.
There was a time, when as a fifteen-year-old freshman at an all-boys Catholic High School in Houston, Texas when I hated as a boy should never hate. My evil thoughts towards the fiery, white-haired Priest would get me a permanent suspension in today’s school system.
Did he humiliate me in front of almost everyone in our freshman class? You bet.
Every time I walked into his math class I felt his glare, his beady eyes locked onto mine, a bright spotlight following me to my seat, announcing to the class – “Look, here comes the math dumb ass!”
“MY GOD MAN…WHAT IS THE ANSWER?”
That was his favorite question. Each word from his mouth, each syllable, came with a direct punch to the sternum, like a drummer keeping a beat. When each question was followed only with silence he repeated the question, and the punches. And I never knew the answer. (I received a degree in Journalism because there was no math requirements.)
I’m sure Father Menner is smiling now (do mean bastards go to Heaven?) because I finally found the answer. The answer has nothing to do with math or algebra or calculus.
The answer is you never stop trying. Never stop learning.
My fear of Fr. Menner’s punches motivated me to sign up for extra tutoring during school. I worked harder. I tried harder. Not because I wanted to be a mathematician, I just wanted the menacing math teacher to start beating on someone else in class. His motivation worked. I passed his class. With a D! I figured you can’t get lemonade every time you squeeze a lemon.
This past weekend I attended my first writers conference in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. Many of the 450 or so attendees were retired, desiring to learn more about the writing profession. No matter our ages, we were all eager to learn more.
If you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, well, you can damn sure try!
As much as I learned from getting my butt whipped every day in freshman math, I’ve learned much easier lessons, and gained much more inspiration from just watching my father.
This October he will turn 79 years old. He still gets up before the roosters every morning, puts on his coat and tie and heads to work. Not because he has to. He could have retired many, many years ago, his financial security set with the numerous oil and gas wells he discovered. He goes to work each day because he wants to. He wants to discover more oil and gas. He loves his work. He loves the changes in technologies. He loves the challenge.
Every afternoon he has a woman come to his office and tutor him in Spanish. I don’t know how many years this has gone on, but the funny thing is, he is as fluent in Spanish as a native-born in Mexico. Yet, he still wants to learn more.
I look at my father and find my inspiration. Sometimes, a parent’s greatest lesson to a child is the one they don’t teach. They show by example and it is up to the child to figure it out on their own.
We are never too old to quit learning. We are never too old to quit trying. There is too much yet to discover and experience.
Just don’t expect me to go and sign up for Algebra tutoring.
What about you? Do you still have the drive and desire to learn new things? Have you ever had a Priest beat on you for your own good? Can you explain why Algebra is even necessary?
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“The Thinker!” I’ve seen that statue in the garden at Rodin’s home in Paris. Beautiful gardens by the way. Ah, algebra. I know, I know. Tim, I feel your pain. No, I did not have a priest beat that mantra into my brain. It was my own father. I was forced, and I do mean forced to take Algebra and Geometry in high school. Hated it. I did not compute! But my father said it would make me think. What a pain to my brain, let alone my be-hind. LOL! But what did I expect. He was an engineer and a designer. So he was both a left and right brainer. Who knew? Then I met my husband. After I had already finished my math courses. Thank you very much. He of course got straight A’s in Algebra, Geometry and Calculus. What? Yea, I know. But he did use it practically everyday as a Carpenter. So you know, different stokes makes the world go round. And opposites attract! Is that mathematical? 🙂
Glad you enjoyed the conference!
I have never seen the statue or been to Paris so I’m jealous. I’m sure some math wizard who has put a formula to opposite attractions, probably has to do with physics and other nonsense!
I’ve only ever received grades lower than a B in math type classes. I’m so with you, Tim! Not only have I never used Algebra in my adult life, I have no desire to ever do so. Yes, I’m all for continuing our learning, but I also know when to cut bait and run. My husband, on the other hand, uses Physics and Calculus on a daily basis. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I find him so attractive. He’s also a wiz in every other subject, which I find annoying. 😉
I sure wish I could’ve gone to the conference. It would’ve been great to meet you in person as well as our other WANAs who were there. What nuggets of writer awesomeness did you glean?
All the seminars were great. My favorite was taught by Ann Collette titled “The 12 Do’s and Don’ts of Thriller and Mystery Writing. It was a great class and she did a great job of teaching it. It was the type of class that ended much too soon! Best selling author James Rollins class on putting the thrill in your thriller was also great!
Good for you for never giving up! Math sucks. I think most writers would agree. That’s why we do what we do. We write words not numbers.
And good for you for going to your first conference. I’m sure now you’re all charged up and wanting to go to more. I’m always inspired after attending a writing conference.
And your dad sounds like a super cool guy! Way to go Dad!!!
I passed algebra with a D, too. My mom always expected A’s or B’s from her kids, so my higher math grades were totally unacceptable to her. When I asked her to help me with my homework one night, she finally said, “Just do the best you can.” And so I did. I passed with a D. She never got on my case again about my math grades.
Thanks for sharing.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
My batteries are recharged following the great conference. Had the pleasure of attending some really great lectures. I’m itching to start the next book but need to finish revisions on this one first. It’s funny how satisfying a D in Algebra can become!
I don’t think the thirst for learning ever leaves – nor the thrill one gets from mastering a new skill. There’s nothing quite like it. GREAT post!
Thank you for stopping by Natalie and thank you for the kind comments!
Love this! Your dad sounds like a real go-getter. And my problem classes in the Mennonite school I attended were Economics and…Home and Family. Nearly failed both. 🙂 I wonder what my H&F teacher would say about my gaggle of kids? She’d probably assume they were starving and bring over food. 😉
My dad is a go getter and he never ceases to amaze me. He is a great inspiration and never had to use punches to the chest to motivate!
Yes I like to learn new things–but I’m very specific now. For instance I don’t want to learn how to use our new lawnmower, or be reminded how to turn the compost bin–but I’m happy to hand the instructions over to my kids!
Same with Algebra.
And I’ve got some priest AND nun stories from Catholic school!:)
I agree. We do become more specific with our interests and what we want to learn. We will have to compare our horror stories of Catholic school sometime!
Algebra is a tricky way to get word lovers to dig math. But we are too smart to get tricked into believing that a few letters will ease the pain, boost clarity or beat books. 😉
I love your dad, Tim. What a great story! Congrats again on a successful conference.
I never thought about Algebra that way, but you’re right! Fractions, Geometry, etc. might as well be written in Chinese. I understand both the same.
OMG Tim, I can picture you! I excelled in algebra and calculus, but could not understand anything to do with science. Over time, I came to understand that we could not all be great at the same thing.
Your father is amazing. I hope I’m still going and learning when I’m his age. No slowing down till the end, right? 🙂
As parents we work so hard to teach our children about the ways of the world, but sometimes the simplest of lessons are when we lead by example. With my Father as my example, I hope to never slow down. I didn’t mention it in the blog, but he will still get out there and work cattle as well!
it’s amazing there are any Catholics left, given nuns and priests at school. Ok, i have to admit it I love math. always did. there’s a nice logic to it. but computers….not so much. one of the things I’m looking forward to after retirement is going back to university. I want to get a PhD in Psychology. can’t do it now, for many reasons but soon. I can’t wait. great post, Tim.
Way to go Louise! I think it’s great you plan to go back for you PhD. Now that is impressive!
thanks Tim – I love school. I’d be a professional student if I could
Tim, Thanks for the laugh…. I was sitting next to you and was hoping I wasn’t next.. I think that’s why I learned my algebra (and use it every day!!!!).. Thanks.. Nice to hear about your dad…I always thought he had all of our best interests…teach by example. How many Dad’s drink beer and listen to rock music with their teenage kids on a Friday night..Great Memories
Tim, I saw your post today because i googled the name of my freshman Algebra teacher at Detroit Catholic Central in 1982. You have described him to a tee and I was trying to show my kids evidence of the math teacher who would pound our chests whe we got the wrong answers. I found my corroborating evidence. But your teacher was a different Fr. John Menner. Was your teacher a Baisilian priest? I wonder if they were related. My teacher wa at CC for 55 years and passed away a few years ago.
Kevin – I believe we are talking about the same man. Yes, he was a Baisilian Priest. He was at my school during the school year of 1976-77, I believe. I don’t remember how long he was there, I know he wasn’t still around when I graduated, but for some reason I think he was gone by the next year. I have no idea where he went, and really didn’t care. Priest’s at our school were like a revolving door. Maybe Father Menner left your school, only for a short time, and returned to Detroit. If he had white mixed with yellow hair, massive forearms, loved to intimidate and beat the holy crap out of you, a stocky build and a reddish facial skin tone, then they have to be one in the same!
TIm,
I think it’s the same Fr. Menner. He came from Detroit and was only at St. Thomas our freshman year. He returned to Detroit. Can forget that guy…. We were all scared of him.
Father Menner made me into the adult I am today. My parents did a great job getting me from point A to point B, then I was lucky enough to be educated by Father Aquaro & his basilian coworkers at Catholic Central HS, Near Detroit MI.
Father Menner taught math, the way that Math should be taught to young shitheads, whose testicles threaten to overwhelm their ability to become productive citizens.
Father John Menner used the Brute force of his Popeye arms & his terrifyng Irish sneer to get the FACTS INTO YOUR HEAD. You Must learn by “Johnny Good Guy’s” method, or you will have your sternum punched into your spine.
30 years later, that is exactly what life taught me. Do it “Johnny Good Guys Way”, or just scrabble along.
Your Choice.
Thank you Father Menner
Darren